Kangaroo Care

On Friday we were able to begin what the hospital calls "Kangaroo Care".  We each get one of the girls and hold her skin to skin (underneath our shirts).  It helps with bonding and development. These pics are from Saturday-- daddy has Lexa and I have Geneva (we alternate daily).  Their body temps stay warm from our skin.  It is amazing.  The only downside is you can't really see their expressions (at least of the one you are holding).  Fr. John stopped by Saturday to say a special blessing for the girls.  We are so thankful for him and can't wait for the day of their baptism.  They are growing every day-- gaining 2 to 3 ounces each the past 2 days, regulating their body temps, eating more, and having less reflux.  The nurse told us tonight Geneva may even get her IV line out tomorrow--leaving only her feeding tube.  They are so much more alert and do not startle as easily.  Their eyes are open a lot, especially Lexa's.   Geneva still prefers one eye open at a time but is getting better about keeping them both open.  We live for our two visits a day, just watching the clock until it's time again to see them.  

Pop's New Loves

My dad (Pop) is a very lucky man.  He already has a terrific grandson, Luke, who he adores and now gets to add two granddaughters to the mix.  He drove 7 hours on Thursday to get his Geneva and Lexa fix in!  He held both girls for about 15 minutes each (Genevea on the top and Lexa on the bottom).  They were both alert and responded well to his voice.  I got to hold them both briefly as well and even change Geneva's diaper and feed Lexa.  I'm sure I'll get lots more practice at poopy diapers and round the clock feedings very soon!  Friday was the hardest day of my life.  I was released from the hospital but had to leave my sweet angels there.  It is so weird to know that they were so close to me for 8 months and now they seem a galaxy away.  I told Patrick a piece of my heart was ripped away as we drove away from the hospital last night. Even though they have never been home, our house seems so quiet and empty.  It is the hardest thing to explain.  All of their clothes, blankets, swings, etc. are now really theirs.  I can picture them in them as before they were born it was still a mystery and somewhat unreal.  I can't wait for them to come see their room and all of the wonderful gifts people have showered them with.  We are going up in about an hour to hold and feed them today and are now allowed to bring blankets and hats from home.  I tell them every day of all the people that love them and cannot wait to meet them.  I spoke with the doctor from Children's Hospital yesterday (he has been filling in for the regular doctor who is on vacation), and he is confident they are progressing and will be home by late June.  I can't wait. 

Holding Geneva

Here are the promised pictures of our eldest Geneva the first time we held her, Wednesday night.  We were nervous about holding her because she is more jumpy than her sister, but she did great!  Thursday was a great day for the girls.  They have semi-graduated from the NICU; they are in the main nursery now but in a special section.  They have been moved to the next bed up, an isolate, with the next step being a crib together!!  It is a good thing but seems a bit a step back because their beds are no longer open but closed with holes in it so it is much harder to touch them and talk to them.  They seem more fragile in their new beds, but the nurses have assured us this is the next step to getting home as they have to prove they can regulate their own body temperature.  Lexa is still having trouble with digestion and reflux and her feedings were held yesterday to give her body some time to catch up.  All tests are normal so the doctor doesn't seem concerned.  In fact the doctor is amazed that at 33 weeks they are breathing on their own between 97 and 100% pulse ox rates.  The feeding issue will resolve in time, and as soon as it does we can start gaining weight and go home!

Holding Lexa

We were allowed to hold the girls last night for the first time!  Because they are on different schedules, we held Lexa about 8:30 p.m. and had to wait to hold Geneva until her 11:30 p.m. feeding.  Lexa, although smaller and more fragile, is much more accepting of touch and stimulation.  Geneva is very jumpy and startles easily.  Not playing favorites, but we were so tired after holding Geneva that we haven't uploaded the photos yet.  So we will concentrate on Lexa for this post.  And there is awesome video of the moment, too that I couldn't figure out how to load yet.  Wow!  What an incredible feeling to hold my baby Lexa.  She is a fighter.  She is having some trouble feeding--with reflux and digestion but keeps her spirits high.  She came right to my arms, and I said "Hi Lexa.  I'm your mommy."  At that moment she opened her beautiful blue eyes and just stared at me!  Of course I was crying (happy tears).  She just studied me and responded so well to my voice.  Patrick said, "So you're the lady I've been hearing all these months."  I kissed her over and over again and then let her daddy have a turn.   It was so amazing.  This morning, I visited the nursery by myself.  The nurse was finishing a procedure with Lexa so I saw Geneva first.  Lexa was crying (she has a very weak cry kind of like a kitten) during the procedure and as soon as the nurse was finished, she let me go and comfort her.  I walked over to her bed, leaned down and said "Mommy is here, Lexa."  She IMMEDIATELY stopped crying, opened her eyes, and held out her little hand for me to grab.  I grabbed her fingers and just talked to her to calm her.  I then cried uncontrollably for 10 minutes with the nurse having to comfort me!  It was the most surreal experience I have ever had.  She literally was calmed by my touch & voice and just continued to study me for several minutes.  I told her she was a brave girl and that although she started life small and fragile, she would overcome it soon enough.  I told her of her namesake, Aunt Joy,  and that she had extra blessings because of it.  It really hit me at that moment that my babies are here and I can't take them home!  I am okay now, just a rough morning.  Pop (my dad) is on the way up to visit his new granddaughters and the nurse said he could hold Geneva this afternoon.  Can't wait to see that moment, as they look alike!  I'll keep posting...

Why the Names?

My late Aunt Joy Lancaster Roberts

I have had many ask how Patrick & I came up with our daughters' names.  So in between my trips to the nursery I thought I would answer this pressing question.  For some reason I just had it in my head that both names had to end in "a".  I think that makes them feminine and coordinate somewhat without being identical names like Molly & Holly, etc.  So we started early on writing down names that ended in "a."  The problem is many have become so popular lately like "Ava","Emma", "Ella", "Bella" and with "Smith" we had to be somewhat original.  There was a lady at the nursing home named "Lexa."  I told her that was a beautiful name and came home and told Patrick.  Ever since that night he started calling her Lexa.  When we looked up the meaning, "Helper of Mankind" it stuck.  We knew our girl would be just that.  For her middle name, there was no question my dear Aunt Joy would be honored and what better fit to go with helper of mankind and "Joy" which is what our daughter has and will bring us in life.  Aunt Joy was the most giving Christian woman who loved life no matter the hardships.  She could never have biological children, as I was told several years ago. All during my pregnancy I felt as if she was with me keeping special guard over her great niece, Lexa Joy as she would have been THRILLED to meet her.  I know Joy lives on through all of her family but hope especially through Lexa Joy.  So... then the trouble of naming yet another child...  "Eva" was on both of our lists as a favorite name.  When I got to the "G" section in our baby name book--I said what about "Geneva" still a biblical derivative of "Eve", the woman who gave us life.  It just sounded so elegant to me and commanding "Geneva Smith."  Not to mention that night we saw a commercial for "Geneva" cookies and it stuck!  "Marie" was kind of a last minute decision.  Just looking for an old-fashioned, traditional name that was slightly short in syllable length.  It seemed to fit well as it, too is a biblical version of "Mary".  So that is how it played out.  Then came the part where we had to decide which name went with which baby... Baby B was always the active baby, had hiccups, moved, kicked, and was uncooperative with ultrasound pictures operating on her own schedule.  We had a feeling she would be red-headed or at least fair and thought that Lexa was the fiery name of the two.  So that left Geneva for Baby A, our first-born by one minute which has fit her well--with dark features.  That's the scoop.  The proud poppa just showed up so we are off again to the NICU.  

New Pics of the Babies

Here are some new pictures of the babies.  Geneva is the one with the dark hair and Lexa with light hair.  Patrick's helpful hint:  "L"exa has "l"ong "l"egs, "l"ight hair and is "l"ighter in weight.  Patrick had to go back to work today and it is killing him.  Good news is he is a teacher so only a week and a half left.  He loves his little ones so much and they are so calmed by his touch & voice.  My mom & I spent an hour with them this morning in the NICU.  They have lost a little weight which is normal but are completely off the oxygen, more than 15 hours now and are doing well.  It is just so hard to have them be a part of me since October and now they are here in the world but can't be with us.  Now that I am feeling better and more mobile, I can at least visit them more often.  Looks like I will be discharged on Friday.  No word on the girls but it will likely be 3 to 4 weeks on the optimistic side.  It will be so awkward going home without them but hopefully the time will pass swiftly and this will soon be a distant memory. 

Welcome Geneva & Lexa!!

They are here!!!!!!!

Geneva Marie Smith (pictured on the left) weighing in at 4 lbs. 10 ounces at 12:59 p.m. and Lexa Joy Smith at 4 lbs. 2 ounces arriving at 1:00 p.m.  Geneva is darker complected, looks like a Lancaster!  And Lexa is more fair and has LONG legs!  Lexa loves to stretch out both arms and legs now that she finally has room to move!  They are just beautiful and doing well, breathing with a little help from the oxygen with great color and vital signs.  What a journey we all had yesterday!!  I was terribly uncomfortable all night Sunday night with strong contractions but still refusing pain meds as I tried to limit as much medication as possible.  My doctor saw me Monday morning and said I might be able to go home as there was nothing else they could do to prevent labor.  10 minutes later as I was eating breakfast, my water broke!  The doctor came back in and I was already dilated to 6 centimeters!  I had an epidural within 30 minutes and never felt a thing.  But technically I guess I had been in labor for 5 days and was tolerating the contractions that whole time.  So within an hour, we were back in labor and delivery.   I pushed for an hour and a half hoping for a regular delivery but it just wasn't meant to be.  We had to do a C-section so unfortunately I am recovering from both deliveries which was my initial fear.  But it has all been worth it.  Patrick got to be with the babies on and off all afternoon yesterday and all grandparents got to visit with them briefly in the NICU.  I had to wait until I could hold down food and liquid and get into a wheelchair, about 11:00 p.m. last night.  We can only lightly touch them and hope to hold them by tomorrow if all continues to go well.  I am still in shock and cannot believe they are actually here.  We can't wait for everyone to meet them.  Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes.  We will keep you posted.

Quick update

I am typing left-handed due to a terrible burning IV so I will make this short and sweet--- everything is great with the babies.  They are still inside, growing with no distress.  I will see my regular doctor tomorrow and we will know more of a long-term plan.  Will likely be weaned tomorrow off the mag sulfate.  I am having strong contractions but they are irregular and shorter in length which is a good sign and am still only dilated to a 2.  No change since Wednesday. Obviously delivery will depend on if I begin to dilate more and/or my water breaks.  The on-call doctor let me take a 5 minute shower today which felt great!  Nothing like clean hair.  Thanks for everyone's prayers.  I continue to be calmed by the Holy Spirit and knowing that everything will work out for the best.

In the Hospital to Stay

Don't know how much sense I am making at this point...  went into pre-term labor about 10 p.m. Wednesday night and have been in the hospital since.  I am on a powerful  IV medicine to try and stop the labor and buy some time for the girls to develop.  The doctors do not allow the medicine for long-term use due to side effects to mother.  So they are going to start weaning it probably tomorrow and hope that with other meds and hospital bedrest  I can at least make it to Wednesday (33 weeks).  I am starting to dilate and delivery appears imminent.  We have met with the specialist who will take care of the babies in the NICU and she is confident due to their size (each over 4 lbs.) & health on ultrasounds.  It is still very scary & not what we had hoped for.  Not what you picture in the movies as they will likely be here several weeks following my return home.  We are trying to take one day at a time and so far I have only had one crying spell last night when my pains were unbearable.  Other than that, we are okay.  I am eating some and able to sleep on and off.  I am hooked up to several IVs, bp cuff, cathetar, etc. and have to have blood drawn every 6 hours.  The nurses are wonderful and I have a whole new respect for what my patients go through.  It is SO hard being away from home and being totally helpless. Thanks to Hilary, Libby, Mauree, Ashley, AG, Eddie, mom, dad, Fr. John, and others for their visits and goodies.  So many of you are calling and checking on us that I cannot individually mention.  Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.  Every day they are "baking" is equal to 3 days they would have to spend in the NICU.  We love you all!

Happy 17th Birthday, Corkie!

You have lived a long and happy life, Corkie.  I can't believe I was an 11 year old girl when I picked you out and brought you home.  We have been through a lot together.  Your daddy thinks you are well on your way to age 21 to break the oldest dog in the U.S. record and make us famous on the Today Show. Keep up your daily schedule of lots of beauty sleep, chasing the cat, eating the cat's food, and of course begging for your favorite dog treats.  We love you!

Crazy 8s

I copied off of Jenny's blog...  Feel free to post on your blog, too.

8 things I'm looking forward to:

1.  Meeting my 2 girls and everything that goes with bonding with them, kissing them, rocking them, seeing what they look like and how their personalities are similar or different

2.  Seeing Patrick  holding them BOTH

3.  Introducing them to the whole family and revealing their names

4.  16 weeks off work

5.  Getting back to Jazzercise and working off my pregnancy belly

6.  Summer weather

7.  Having a busy household

8.  I know it will be awhile, but being called "mommy" 

8 things I did yesterday:

1.  Paid off my medical bills, for now at least

2.  Balanced the checkbook

3.  Wrote thank-you notes

4.  Took an afternoon nap

5.  Attended our last labor & delivery class

6.  Opened the windows until the rain hit about 2:00

7.  Read 5 chapters in my new book

8.  Ate A LOT-- I can't get enough lately.  I ate donuts, cereal, grapes, strawberries, ice cream, spinach enchiladas, spaghetti, granola bars,  fruit snacks, just to name a few.

8 things I wish I could do or want to do:
1.  Go do a Jazzercise routine right now!  I feel so unfit and lazy!  I need to dance!

2.  Eat a big club sandwich with a cherry coke (can't have deli meat or caffeine right now).

3.  Go for a walk.  I miss our spring walks this year through the neighborhood.

4.  Get my hair highlighted.  Another one of my pregnancy sacrifices.  I am NOT liking my hair right now.

5.  Be a stay-at-home mom.  I am so nervous about how I am going to juggle all the responsibilities of twins and going back to work.  I don't know how I am going to leave my two miracles at daycare, and I haven't even met them yet.

6.  Get a mini-van.  Doesn't look financially possible right now with daycare for two.

7.  Go swimming.  Not brave enough for a maternity swimsuit.

8.  Fast forward to Week 36 to ensure the babies are healthy and ready to come.

8 shows I watch:
1.  All My Children

2.  Dancing with the Stars

3.  LOST

4.  Desperate Housewives

5.  Amazing Race

6.  48 Hours Murder Mystery

7.  Bachelor/ Bachelorette

8.  Army Wives

8 people to tag:
1.  Laura

2.  Rachel

3.  Libby

4.  Amy

5.  Kristina

6.  Hilary

7.  Melissa

8.  Jennifer

Introducing My New Fate

Well, it seems like my good luck has run out...  I went to the doctor on Thursday and everything was PERFECT... blood pressure, blood sugar, weight, exam, ultrasound, swelling, etc.  My doctor continued to brag saying that I am a real trooper, carrying twins better than she carried one.  She even went so far as to say that I would be a great candidate for a regular delivery (no C-section) based on the position of the babies (less than 30% of twins are delivered traditionally).  I could continue to work with no restrictions.  I was on cloud 9... then I had to go upstairs in the hospital for one hour of monitoring.  A few minutes into the monitoring, highly engrossed in my new novel, the nurse busts in the room... "Are you in pain??"  NO!  WHY?  She informs me I am having contractions.  She positions me to try and stop the contractions.  They inform me the doctor will be paged if the contractions don't stop in 5 minutes...  I AM IN SHOCK at this point but am sure there is a mistake.  The next thing I know, there is my previously happy, optimistic doctor in my room telling me I am in possible pre-term labor at 30 weeks.  She is ordering a shot to stop the contractions and a steroid shot to be given to mature the girls' lungs just in case they come.  My first reaction, "Do I need to call my husband?  This sounds serious."  I am still in total shock, feeling no pain or contractions.  So the doctor says she will be back in an hour.  In the meantime, I call my mom and Patrick who meet me at the hospital.  It was quite an adventure.  It all happened so fast and luckily I didn't have time to actually think of the possibly scary results.  Well the contractions didn't really stop completely but there was no dilation, therefore, it was not considered pre-term labor but could easily be headed down that road.  So I was told bedrest and I had to return to the hospital on Friday for another monitoring and the 2nd round of steroid shot to mature the lungs.  No contractions detected on Friday so I am not sure what my final restrictions are (will find out tomorrow).  Initially I was told strict bedrest, only getting up to go to the bathroom, but am hoping that I can have some sort of modified bedrest.  I am going crazy!  And I feel terrible that Patrick is doing everything... laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, and cleaning.  I feel so useless and the frustrating part is that I feel FINE.  I just have to keep telling myself that these babies have at least 5 more weeks to stay inside and grow and that in the end, this will all be worth it.  I hate being off work and using my maternity leave for this instead of when I will really need it.  But the nurse informed me Friday via phone that 32 weeks at bedrest is the clinic's policy, and I will be 31 on Tuesday so I guess I am just a week off.  Glad we made a good investment on New Year's Day with our new king-sized bed.  I sure don't know how I would still be making it in our queen at this point. Patrick had to lift me out of the bed this morning!!  I swear I grew overnight.  I am beginning to feel like a whale!  We'll keep you posted.

Update on Babies

Here is the only picture I have from my 5 baby showers... still waiting on my camera charger so I can upload more. This is one of my oldest and dearest friends, Susan, who gave me a PERFECT shower on April 18th at her mom's beautiful home.  We had such a great time.  More in a later post. What a whirlwind these past few weeks have been.  I apologize to everyone reading that deserves a thank-you note.  They are slow in coming.  For those of you that are mommies, just remember how much it took to prepare for 1 baby and multiply it by 2!  We are still sorting through and trying to organize everything.  We are overwhelmed by all of your love and generosity.  It is crazy how a big house with lots of empty closets is now busting at the seams, and they aren't even here yet!  I am sorry for not updating everyone on the girls' progress.  I had my fourth "growth and anatomy" ultrasound yesterday at the hospital and everything is great.   The doctor's RN called me herself and said that my doctor was "so pleased" and just couldn't wait to tell me until my appointment Thursday!  The babies are measuring exactly within the same normals.  Baby B is 3 pounds 7 ounces and Baby A 3 pounds 4 ounces, which is in the 98th percentile!  They are both head down and have all the necessary organs, bones, etc. and are even practice breathing which means their lungs are developing.  I am now going to the doctor every week as I am now considered what a normal woman would be at full-term.  When I go on Thursdays I also have to be admitted to the Labor & Delivery floor for an hour long non-stress heart test where the babies' heartrates are checked to ensure they are not in distress.  It is painless but boring!  Not to mention there is no telling what all of this is costing.  (Patrick calls me a frugal Jew as I worry constantly about money!)  Anyway, I guess the cost of ensuring a full-term pregnancy is priceless.  Our goal is still a 36 week minimum which is only 6 weeks from today!!  Of course anything over that is icing on the cake.  I have gained 40 pounds and am still working.  I am starting to really fatigue and swell by the afternoons so am now only working 4-5 hour days but 7 days a week to keep my full-time status... another reason my house is so disorganized and my thank-yous are delayed.  By the time I get home and prop up my feet, watch my soap, and get in a nap--Patrick is home.  But I still prefer this schedule over bedrest. I need to save as many of my days as possible to be home with the babies not killing time in bed.  Well, I am going to run put the meatloaf in the oven.  Tonight is class #4 of our labor and delivery class.  That's another reason we have been so busy--between baptism preparation classes, labor and delivery classes, breastfeeding classes, and childcare classes we feel like we are back in school!  Patrick calls me the star student as I think I am the only one that is actually paying attention and taking notes.  Hey I am going to need all the help I can get!!